Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Hi guy, I know you can hear me, I know where you are. We didn't get the chance to talk at the end, you fought so hard. I wish I had half your willpower & strength. I love you, we all do, and I want you to know that I know you were mad, I know you didn't want to go for that ride, you would fix it yourself-just like me. I know you were scared that it may be your last. I know that every time they tried to make you better, something screwed up. I gave you the thumbs up when they took you, I know you saw me. I'm sorry for leaving your side even for those precious few hours I was away, I never would've left you. We had no idea, and just like we thought about #3 you would kick that beast and we would see you in a few hours and eat some crappy hospital food.
I want you to know that we all held you and kissed your forehead and stroked your hair. I want you to know that those people at St. Mary's were warriors for you, they never gave up. I want you to know that Mom is OK, we will all keep her close along with our memories of you, I promise. I miss you and I wish we were just trying to plan a weekend up north, I still can't figure out why you're not coming home. I will figure it out though. I will make sure that everything you wanted for your last wish is done right and no one screws up. I remember those fishing trips, I remember going to Joe's in Florida, I remember how you could kick my butt at golf, and hockey and baseball and football and pool and ping pong and bowling. I didn't seem to matter what you did, you were the best at all of it. You never bragged, but I know you had a try out for the Leafs- I've seen all your clippings, an All Star all around. We thank you for all the things you did for us, you're the reason we have this house. I thank you for the best upbringing a kid could ever have. I thank you for the love you've given my kids. The Pinecrest gang says thanks to the "Ice Cream" man for the treats and the pool & hockey rink. I will look after all your things and do what whatever is right for Mom, what she wants. I will get them all to stop smoking and I will burn that damn strap & it will never get you again. I know how much you loved Mom, I know you never said it-I know why, but I saw it, I felt it. I'm going to cheer your #48 on for six in a row! Not sure how you went from Gordon to Jimmy and have 9 Championships so far? Not too bad Dad! We also got to see our Hawks win one more time! I will miss bitchin' about McGinty & that stupid train with you and I'll throw a few extra votes in for you while I'm there. Mom says you don't have to listen to all those damn dogs anymore, it will be quiet for you now.
I've thought about you going, and I thought we would have so many years to fix all the world's problems, I guess I was wrong so this is the best I can do. Say hi to Joe & Gma & Dale for us. One day down the road maybe we will have those talks again Dad. I love you and I will never forget what you did for every one of us all through the years. I miss you and I can still feel your forehead on my face. I'm sorry I couldn't fix you