Obituary of Maria (Mary) Sara Buhr (Nightingale)

To view the livestream of Mary's funeral service, please click here.

 

March 16, 1935 to October 19, 2024

 

Mary Buhr died peacefully in her 89th year at St. Mary's Hospital, Kitchener, where she was receiving comfort care.  Survived by her beloved husband Donald Abram Nightingale and by his children, Sharon and Bruce. Lovingly remembered by her caring granddaughters, Kaitlyn Nightingale (Ben) and Emma Nightingale (Logan), and their mother Lindsay Drake Nightingale.

 

Also survived by her sisters Helen Gibbons and Greta Penner and by her brothers John, Tony, Martin (partner Nell Peters), Albert (Kathy) and by her cousin Jeannie (Herman) Rempel, who was raised by Mary's parents the late John and Sarah Buhr.  Predeceased by brothers Jake and Diedrich. Pre-deceased by sisters-in-law Dorothy (Jake), Frieda (John), Christine (Diedrich), Helen (Tony), Pauline (Martin) and by brothers-in-law Gordon Gibbons (Helen) and Jake Penner (Greta).

 

Mary was loved by many nieces and nephews who remember their Big City aunt with the red Firebird. Virtually all of them recall riding in that car, lodging overnight in her Toronto duplex and later on in her Kitchener-Waterloo homes. Standing out for them was Aunt Mary’s welcoming hospitality and her positive role modelling of a strong, resourceful, independent person, an example they seek to emulate. Her grandnieces and grandnephews also came to experience the embrace of her love for her family. Mary had long time enduring relationships with nephews Patrick Buhr (Sandra) and Gregory Penner (Ximena) and niece Karen Buhr (special friend Kyle) who reside in Ontario.

 

Mary began her career as a Lab and X-ray Technologist in Winnipeg. After earning her B.A in Psychology at the University of Waterloo she began teaching  at the  Michener Institute of Health Science  in Toronto as  a Medical Lab instructor. Here she developed a correspondence course that was used by students across Canada who were training as Lab Technicians. In the Big City she yielded to her innate entrepreneurial spirit by buying several rental properties and a duplex leading to a concurrent career as a landlady.

 

Mary was a member the Timothy Eaton United Church in Toronto and was involved in volunteer work most of her life. In Waterloo she joined a Probus club and was part of a Book club. Members of the latter became close friends and faithfully visited or called during the last months of her life, as did friends from Kingston to Toronto, Kitchener-Waterloo and beyond.

 

During her early retirement Mary met and married Don Nightingale, a handsome and charming widower who she adored.  She would proudly declare that their union of 29 years was an achievement greater than all the others. With her husband Don, Mary continued her love of travels around the world and to North American cities coast to coast.

 

As volunteers Mary and Don together contributed to the activities of the Research Institute for Aging (RIA). They were invited to give presentations at conferences about aging and served on RIA advisory committees. They met the public on the Green Elder Wisdom Benches placed by Schlegel Villages around the Waterloo Region.

 

Special thanks to the staff at The Village of University Gates Waterloo where Mary resided for the last three years so she could be near her husband who is in Long Term Care. Also special thanks to the staff at St. Mary's Hospital who provided attentive comfort care along with the palliative team from Ontario Health at Home.

 

Family and friends are invited to a Celebration of Life at the Erb & Good Family Funeral Home, 171 King St S., Waterloo, at 11:00 a.m. on Monday, November 18, 2024, with a time of visitation starting at 10:30 a.m.

 

A livestream of the service will be available on the funeral home website. A reception will follow in the Fireside Reception Room of the funeral home. Cremation and a private family burial will have taken place at Woodland Cemetery, Kitchener.

 

At Mary’s request, memorial donations may be made to the MennoHomes/Beyond Housing or Mennonite Central Committee Ontario, and may be arranged through the funeral home at 519-745-8445 or www.erbgood.com. Condolences and memories may be shared on Mary's tribute wall.

 

Memories Shared of Mary Buhr

In a telephone call, Mary's brother, Tony, recalled a very early experience which left a life-long impression. The Buhr family moved from the west side of the Red River to the east side, the year Tony was to start grade one.  Because of the move, Mary was held back from starting school a year earlier than Tony. So they entered grade one together. Mary was top of the class. She was tested.  The results indicated a high level of intelligence.  She was immediately placed into her age appropriate grade where she continued to excel at the top of her class as she did for years to come. Young as he was, Tony said he came to observe firsthand, and to accept for life, that intellect is not the exclusive domain of one gender.

 Tony Buhr, brother in Edmonton

Aunt Mary was one of those people who always put others first, quietly showing her love through countless acts of kindness. She had a big heart and a generous spirit, always there to lend a hand or brighten someone’s day. Her warmth and care will be missed, but her kindness will always be remembered.

Will Hergott, in Ottawa, great nephew

 

When I (Emily) moved to Waterloo for university, I met Mary and Don and extended family I didn’t know existed. From the start, Mary welcomed me with no hesitation for how extended our relationship was. Quickly dropping the ‘great’ and becoming my Aunt Mary. When Taryn moved out east to Toronto, I made sure to introduce her to ‘Aunt’ Mary.

Mary was forever kind, offering us a place to go for holidays, just for dinner, and calling to check in and chat. She never hesitated to fit us in to her rather busy social calendar. Time with Mary always passed quickly, hearing the stories from her life, both long past and recent. Mary welcomed our visits as individuals, couples, and later with Taryn’s children as well. Mary’s joy was contagious as she would laugh watching us chase children around and play silly games. We can only hope to live a life with as much kindness and willingness to laugh as our Aunt Mary.

Emily Park, in Toronto and Taryn Dubois in Brandon, great nieces

 

I remember her as the cool aunt with her sports car and us all squishing in it to go to the BlueJays game back in 83 or 84.

She also was a strong and independent woman that taught the girls/women in our family that we too could be strong and independent and go after our dreams.

With her generosity along with my parents push I was able to take a step into bravery and get something done for myself that helped my self esteem and worth.

I am super grateful for the opportunity I got because of her.

Sheila Buhr, in Saskatoon, niece

 

We remember Mary as a good hearted and generous person. She was generous with her money, willingly lending to those who expressed a need and she was very indulgent about repayment plans.

At other times she would simply give of her money to help someone when and where she thought it to be appropriate. Sometimes she just gave even if there wasn't any need, because, as she told me later, she had a good year on the Stock Market and wanted to share her good fortune.

She was also very generous with her time. When she came to Manitoba annually to visit our parents, she would travel around to see all of us living here. She would stay with us for a few days befriending our children who all remember her fondly.

She was particularly kind to our Mother after our Father died spending much of her vacation time with her Mother taking her in either a rented or borrowed vehicle to visit her relatives that lived further away.

Mary had a special relationship with her and they had good times together.

We are sad to see Mary go but glad that she no longer has to suffer.

 Albert Buhr and his wife Kathy, youngest brother in Steinbach

 

Mary was amazing and brought light and vitality.

One of my fondest memories of Mary was when we drove back from Kitchener to Grande Prairie in her sports car after I had finished a year with MCC.

We went through the states and then up through Saskatchewan and it was a beautiful drive with many memorable conversations.

At one point I couldn’t resist speeding and got pulled over by a state trooper. The officer decided not to ticket me after he saw by the look on Mary’s face that I was going to be tuned in by my aunt.

Love to you,

Brad Buhr, in Edmonton, nephew

 

All members of my family have fond memories of Mary and her welcoming helpful ways. When Kent and Sylvie were both in university in Toronto, Mary very often invited them to a Sunday meal and a good visit. The year Lana spent at a Toronto university she was welcome every weekend at either Mary’s or Martin’s home. Scott remembers coming alone or with a friend to a big sporting event or another reason and always having a welcoming place to stay. Mary took a genuine interest in them. I wish I had a chance to see her one more time.

Remembering with love,

Helen Gibbons, in Winnipeg, sister

 

 

Grandma is a collection of memories.

Grandma is knowing that you are loved unconditionally

 and for no reason.

Grandma is hugs and laughter and care.

Grandma is a delighted voice on the other end of the phone

every time you call.

Grandma is the weekly or even daily emails

updating us on what’s going on.

Grandma is a lover of the arts,

especially two person shows put on

with her quilts as theatre curtains

with her laundry baskets as the set pieces.

Grandma is warmth and welcome to new members of our family.

Grandma is the open mind to new ideas

 and shifting values well into her 80s.

Grandma is a book of recipes that we would never ask for

because honestly she wasn’t a great cook.

Grandma is making sure we always got dessert.

Grandma is a supporter of dreams, big or small.

Grandma is a feeling.

Mary is our grandma.

Love from,

Kaitlyn and Emma Nightingale, in Amsterdam and London, ON, granddaughters

 

To Don and to Bruce and Sharon and their families, my sincere condolences. Mary was very proud of the family she acquired when she married Don. And my thoughts are also with Mary's sisters and brothers and their families. Mary will be missed.

Judy Clarke, in Toronto, friend

 

A friend for 50 years, both of us members of a Toronto Friendship Group, I remember Mary Buhr as standing strong for her convictions.  When she supported a cause, it was with her whole heart.

George Oelker, in Toronto, friend

 

One of my earliest memories of Aunt Mary is a family trip to Clear Lake when she was in Manitoba for a visit. I remember thinking she was very stylish with her sandals that made a slapping sound when she walked.

Fast forward to my time at Sheridan College where I spent many weekends at Aunt Mary’s place in Toronto. I witnessed her love of fashion continue with her buying clothes that complemented one’s complexion according to the seasons. I also discovered she was a good cook and liked cats. One fat cat would often land on me in the night!

In the latter years, Aunt Mary welcomed Nadia and me to her Waterloo home. Aunt Mary took an interest in Nadia and they sometimes conversed via telephone. I’m happy they developed a friendship and Nadia was able to visit Aunt Mary in May.

I feel fortunate I was able to visit with Aunt Mary in Winnipeg at the 2023 September reunion and that I was also able to see her this past July.

Love,

Lana Gibbons, in Winnipeg, niece

 

When my friend Don Nightingale introduced me to his loving partner Mary, I thought I had known Mary all my life. This precious lady welcomed my late wife Barbara and I as virtually a member of the family and that warm relationship and friendship remained with us through the rest of her life. A charming, warm and caring person, Mary was also much more. She was a thoughtful and intelligent person who was always a warm and caring person who was a delight to visit. Mary and Don, in spite of the distance and Don's health concerns, were always in our thoughts and among our closet and dearest of friends.

Charlie Scott, in Don Mills, friend

 

Dear Nell and family. My sincere sympathy to all of Mary’s family.

I remember hearing all about the family reunion out west and seeing photos of all Mary's siblings. So great to have that memory for those still here.

She was a kind woman and always enjoyed her company.

Take care. Kindest regards

Marnie Hart, in Waterloo, book club friend

 

Mary Buhr's sister, Greta Penner, remembers Mary's exceptional hospitality, as do all her siblings in Manitoba. Mary was famous for her ability to welcome visitors, cheerfully picking them up at the airport but tearfully returning them for the trip back home.